Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize