I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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