Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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