You can't motorboat a personality
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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