he puts the penis in happiness.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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