Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize