so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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