If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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