my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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