well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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