I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize