And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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