3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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