are you so shy because you have an std?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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