Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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