I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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