Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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