i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize