I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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