so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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