I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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