Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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