wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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