paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize