just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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