Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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