I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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