I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Everyone says I win the strip club
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize