Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
where am i from again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize