I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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