Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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