Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
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I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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