I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize