yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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