I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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