My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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