I puked a lego.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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