): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize