She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my shit smells like andre
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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