Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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