Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize