You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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