p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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