So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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