We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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