so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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