I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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