The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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