Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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