I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
PANTIES FOUND
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