I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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